Sunday, December 4, 2011

As Close As You Want To

I’m allowed in the throne room.  He said it was Ok.  I could go in, see what it was all about.  See the King even, if I wanted to.  He said I could go as close as I want to.  And I do want to see this King.

So I take my first cautious step over the threshold.  Guess what I see first?  No, it’s not the King – but I know he’s there, I just know it.  I see legs, so many legs.  I’m small, and I seem to be engulfed in this forest of legs.

My senses are alive, tingling, almost overwhelmed.  But I want to remember all this, so I take a deep breath and start to look around.  I see people – so many, many people.  People like I’ve never seen before.  Like that one, so tall and regal looking, with glowing dark skin.  Or that lady there, I’ve never seen such pale skin, and with so many freckles.  There’s red hair, grey hair, and even no hair at all.  There must be every single race on earth represented in this room, and they’re all together, all there for the same reason.

I start to move forward.  I want to get closer.  He said I could go as close as I want to.  I weave my way through that forest of multi-coloured legs.  Left around that pale white one, right passed that one so dark it’s like the richest of chocolate.  “Excuse me, please.”  “Can I get through here?”  “I want to see the King.”  “I would like to be nearer the front, please.”  As I make my way forward the people make a way for me.  “Let the child through, she wants to see the King.”  They smile, like maybe they’ve seen the King themselves, and they want me to see him too.

All at once the most amazing fragrance consumes me, it’s like all my favourite things all rolled into one, but even better.  My senses continue to be awakened and amazed.  It’s like I can taste that delicious aroma that’s filling the throne room.  If this is what it is like to be just near to the King, then I want to be closer still.  He said I could come as close as I want to.

I keep making my way forward, and as I do I hear words coming from my mouth, the words pulsing through my heart, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord.”  I realise that everyone, all these people are all singing the same words.  I don’t know how I know, as they’re all singing in their own multitude of languages, but I just know.  “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord.”

Oh how simply stunning.  I look up and I see thousands upon thousands of angels flying overhead, all crying out their praises to the King.  They are just amazing, shimmering, shinning, reflecting His glory, like sparkles of light raining down on all those faces.  Oh I really want to see him now.  If that is just a reflection of His glory, I want to see the real thing.

I duck and I weave through a few more legs and I nearly hit the floor.  I have to grasp a hand beside me to steady myself.  There He is.  The King.  He’s right there and He is GLORIOUS!  His presence, His glory, it fills the throne room, and it fills me.  I’m not sure I can still stand; I’ll crawl if I have too.  But I want to be closer.  So I let go the hand I’m using for balance, and I take a step towards him.  Oh the audaciousness, will all these people, the angels, the creatures around the throne, will they really let me get closer?  Well I’m not stopping to ask for permission.  He said I could go as close as I want to, and I want to be closer.

So I move closer, closer, closer.  Until I’m right there, right before the throne.  That’s Him, my King, my delight.  I fall on my knees before Him.  Oh to be so close I can almost touch him.

He said I can go as close as I want to.  I look into those eyes.  Eyes that burn with love.  Eyes that have seen every step I’ve taken.  Eyes that have seen every misstep I have taken, and yet continue to pour out complete and unending love for me.

He said I can go as close as I want to.  I take a deep breath, breathe in that precious fragrance, and I lay my head on his lap.  My King, My Papa, My God.  He said I could come as close as I want to.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Along The River - A Story of Encounter

Hey, look down there.  See the light?  Shinning and shimmering through the trees.  Hear the wind gently causing the leaves to sing.  Hear the roar, like a mighty river.  Can you see her?  There, look through the trees.  That little girl.  Walking. Skipping.  Running down the worn dirt track.  Running through the forest.  Yes, you see her too, don’t you?

Wait, hey look again.  Did you see that?  Something moved in the undergrowth just up ahead of her.  I think there’s something there.  Look, I think she senses it too.  Yes!  There, right there, can you see that face, peeking out behind that tree trunk?  I knew it.  I knew someone was there.

She’s moving towards the tree.  Trying to look without looking, sneaking.  She’s level with the tree trunk now, just on the other side of it.  She’s creeping around slowly to catch the stranger by surprise.  Almost there.  But, oh, he’s made a dash for it and he’s out of sight again.  Laughter is all that’s left lurking behind that tree.  She laughs too, and looks around.  She begins to whistle, and walk casually up the path as if nothing has happened, stepping over broken branches, kicking up fallen leaves.

“BOO”, he jumps out, “tag, you’re it” and he takes off.  She takes off after him in wild abandoned pursuit.  Oh I see, it’s a game.  They’re friends, these two, this unlikely pair.  Her a waif, a stray almost, him, well I just don’t know about him.  Almost like a big brother, but he’s no stray, not that one.

She’s running, bounding down the forest path, and she’s beginning to gain ground.  Hang on a minute, take a look at him.  He’s just playing with her, jogging, holding back, taking it easy and letting her catch up.

She’s reaching out and grasping his hand.  The trees part and the pair make their way into a beautiful clearing, the sky is radiant, the grass so green, they both look so alive. 

Ha ha, look, they’re spinning now.  Oh the fun.  Their hands are grasped and they’re spinning round and around and around.  Heads thrown back to drink in the light and the heat of the sun.  Wow, they’ve landed in a dizzy heap and now they’re rolling down the grassy slopes.  Oh the freedom!  The joy!  The laughter!

Bubble, bubble, trickle, drip, drip, splash.  They look around and have you ever seen anything quite like it?  It’s a river, but look at it.  Have you ever seen such clear water?  It’s like crystal, so clear, so perfect.

On the river bank the unlikely pair are dangling their feet in the water.  It seems wrong to put feet in such a perfect river, but then, it also seems so right.

Ha ha, she’s just kicked water at him, and now he’s splashing her back.  The sun catches the spray, and it’s like a spray of diamonds arching through the air.  Oh the joy, the refreshing.  She gives him a look and he smiles, nods.  They stand, hold hands and jump.

Jump in the river.  Splash.  Splash.  They’re in.  Completely immersed.  Floating.  Splashing.  Playing.  The perfect crystal water flowing over them, and around them.

You know, maybe it sounds strange to you, but I feel like I know these two, do you know who they are?  Really, you think so?  Yes, I do see it, she does look like me.  But what about him?

Oh wow, hey look closer, what’s that?  There, right there, is that just a trick of this fascinating light reflecting on that brilliant water?  No, it’s not.  It’s real.  He’s wearing a crown.  So, well, what does it…, could he really be?  All this time… I’ve been touching the king.

Why, Oh Why, Am I Starting A Blog?

Do you ever look back with fond memories, to your childhood likes, gifts, talents, and wonder where it all went?  Do you look back and wonder at the freedom and abandonment of childhood, wonder when it was that you became a grown up and lost the sense of wonder of childhood?  The funny thing about that is, most adults I know, still think of themselves as large children, not adults.  But when we stop and compare ourselves to a child, we realise, yeah, we've not only grown up, but we might have lost something along the way.  

When did it happen?  This becoming an adult. And who says I have to give up who I am, who I was created to be, just to fulfil the responsibilities that come with adulthood?  I'm not sure that any one said it had to be that way, and I'm convinced it shouldn't be that way.  But it happens, doesn't it?  You grow up, you leave home, you get married, you have kids, along comes a mortgage, jobs, responsibility, and if you're not careful, then one day you wake up and realise you don't recognise that person in the mirror any more.  Oh yeah, you're being a responsible adult, you've got well behaved kids, a good job, but there is something of the essence of who you are, that got lost back there somewhere in the day-to-day drudgy of housework, laundry, and making sure homework's being done.

Just over 2 months ago, I attended a weekend long Prophetic Creative Conference.  It seemed like a crazy thing to do, as I didn't feel like I was particularly creative, and I felt even less prophetic - but God said "Go" and when he says "Go" then who am I to disagree.  So I went.  

(Are you wondering when I'm going to explain why I'm starting a Blog?  Me too!)

The conference was life changing is many ways - more of which may come up in later posts - but the thing I want to focus on here is the creative.  Part of the weekend was a creative workshop - the choices being art, music or writing.  I'm not at all artistic, nor musical, I used to like writing as a kid, so almost by default - I chose writing.  There was a part of me that thought, well I'll just get through it and then move on with the rest of the weekend; but there was another part, the mustard seed of faith part of me that thought, I wonder what God can do with a long forgotten love of writing.  As a child, I enjoyed writing stories at school; sick as it sounds, I even enjoyed writing essays at high school.  As an adult, I wondered about doing something with my writing, I even brought a book about writing, but I never actually read it, let alone wrote anything more than the occasional family Christmas letter.  

The workshop was good, the writing I did there was OK - nothing spectacular.  But over the course of the weekend, God began to give me a series of pictures.  And in the week that followed, I began to craft that series of pictures into a story.  The scariest thing I ever did, was emailing that story to a select group of friends - but how amazing it was to get their responses, and realise that I had painted my picture - not with a brush, but with words.

I don't want to write just for the sake of writing - and you probably don't want to read that anyway.  The most important thing I got from the writers' workshop, was a desire to write from encounter with The King.  Hence the name of my blog.  When I encounter Jesus, and I write from that place,what turns up on my page/screen is him.  If he has given me a gift of words, then I want to use those words for him and for his glory.

My other lasting impression from the writers' workshop was "the buzzy hum."  We all have a different buzzy hum, and one of the best things you'll ever do, is to find yours!  Our buzzy hum is the thing that drives us, that makes us feel alive, that gets us through the mundane of the day because we know it's there waiting for us, or even better, it's the thing we abandon the dishes for and just go do.  For me, it's writing, for my husband, it's painting, for others it's quilting.  Find the thing that God has created you for - and do it!  You will never feel more alive than when you are doing the thing that God has created you to enjoy.  And if you don't know what your buzzy hum is, you really have no idea - then look back, you'll probably find it in your childhood.  And if you discover that your buzzy hum has been left behind back in childhood, then don't worry - because God can redeem it and all you need to do is ask him.

So, does that answer the question?  I am starting a blog because God has put a desire to write in my heart, and it needed an outlet, and a blog seemed a good place to start. I hope that you will find something of his heart in reading the things he is doing in mine!