Do you ever look back with fond memories, to your childhood likes, gifts, talents, and wonder where it all went? Do you look back and wonder at the freedom and abandonment of childhood, wonder when it was that you became a grown up and lost the sense of wonder of childhood? The funny thing about that is, most adults I know, still think of themselves as large children, not adults. But when we stop and compare ourselves to a child, we realise, yeah, we've not only grown up, but we might have lost something along the way.
When did it happen? This becoming an adult. And who says I have to give up who I am, who I was created to be, just to fulfil the responsibilities that come with adulthood? I'm not sure that any one said it had to be that way, and I'm convinced it shouldn't be that way. But it happens, doesn't it? You grow up, you leave home, you get married, you have kids, along comes a mortgage, jobs, responsibility, and if you're not careful, then one day you wake up and realise you don't recognise that person in the mirror any more. Oh yeah, you're being a responsible adult, you've got well behaved kids, a good job, but there is something of the essence of who you are, that got lost back there somewhere in the day-to-day drudgy of housework, laundry, and making sure homework's being done.
Just over 2 months ago, I attended a weekend long Prophetic Creative Conference. It seemed like a crazy thing to do, as I didn't feel like I was particularly creative, and I felt even less prophetic - but God said "Go" and when he says "Go" then who am I to disagree. So I went.
(Are you wondering when I'm going to explain why I'm starting a Blog? Me too!)
The conference was life changing is many ways - more of which may come up in later posts - but the thing I want to focus on here is the creative. Part of the weekend was a creative workshop - the choices being art, music or writing. I'm not at all artistic, nor musical, I used to like writing as a kid, so almost by default - I chose writing. There was a part of me that thought, well I'll just get through it and then move on with the rest of the weekend; but there was another part, the mustard seed of faith part of me that thought, I wonder what God can do with a long forgotten love of writing. As a child, I enjoyed writing stories at school; sick as it sounds, I even enjoyed writing essays at high school. As an adult, I wondered about doing something with my writing, I even brought a book about writing, but I never actually read it, let alone wrote anything more than the occasional family Christmas letter.
The workshop was good, the writing I did there was OK - nothing spectacular. But over the course of the weekend, God began to give me a series of pictures. And in the week that followed, I began to craft that series of pictures into a story. The scariest thing I ever did, was emailing that story to a select group of friends - but how amazing it was to get their responses, and realise that I had painted my picture - not with a brush, but with words.
I don't want to write just for the sake of writing - and you probably don't want to read that anyway. The most important thing I got from the writers' workshop, was a desire to write from encounter with The King. Hence the name of my blog. When I encounter Jesus, and I write from that place,what turns up on my page/screen is him. If he has given me a gift of words, then I want to use those words for him and for his glory.
My other lasting impression from the writers' workshop was "the buzzy hum." We all have a different buzzy hum, and one of the best things you'll ever do, is to find yours! Our buzzy hum is the thing that drives us, that makes us feel alive, that gets us through the mundane of the day because we know it's there waiting for us, or even better, it's the thing we abandon the dishes for and just go do. For me, it's writing, for my husband, it's painting, for others it's quilting. Find the thing that God has created you for - and do it! You will never feel more alive than when you are doing the thing that God has created you to enjoy. And if you don't know what your buzzy hum is, you really have no idea - then look back, you'll probably find it in your childhood. And if you discover that your buzzy hum has been left behind back in childhood, then don't worry - because God can redeem it and all you need to do is ask him.
So, does that answer the question? I am starting a blog because God has put a desire to write in my heart, and it needed an outlet, and a blog seemed a good place to start. I hope that you will find something of his heart in reading the things he is doing in mine!
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